Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Why Katie Maloney Needs to Dump Tom Schwartz


On last night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Tom Schwartz half heartedly confessed that he did drunkenly make out with a chick from Vegas. The confession which was made at a bar during an outing with Sandoval, Scheana, and Shay was hastened by a vague threat of exposure from Jax, who was in possession of some incriminating texts. Katie managed to hold it together through dinner and the couple returned to their shared apartment to hash out the details.

Unfortunately for Katie, this was not the first time Schwartz had been unfaithful. He had previously admitted to making out with another girl earlier this season. This confession was also conveniently brought on by the fact that Scheana witnessed the encounter and blabbed about it to the other Sur employees. In both situations, Schwartz blamed alcohol for his poor choices, claimed he didn’t really remember what happened, yet was certain that no sex was involved. Riiiiight.

Here’s the kicker, Katie still loves the guy! In a follow up conversation with another Sur employee, she accidentally used the word “marriage” to describe her relationship with Schwartz. In short, she seemed hell bent to forgive the guy and move on with the hope that he will one day put on a ring on it.

I watched this entire scene play out and wondered what the hell this chick was thinking. Do you really think Tom Schwartz is husband and father material? So let me break it down for you Katie Maloney. When a guy cheats on a girl (sex or no sex involved), it is just an immature man’s way of breaking up with you. There are plenty of dudes out there who don’t have the balls to break up with their girlfriends and use cheating as a means to an end. These men tend to be passive, avoid confrontation, and often fall into the trap of feeling sorry for the person they are dating which makes them stay longer in the relationship than necessary. 

Sound familiar Katie? If not, let me refresh your memory. Your boyfriend Schwartz endures quite a bit of berating and maltreatment from Jax with no retaliation. He allows Jax to spread rumors about you and criticize you without defending your honor. In fact there are plenty of times that Schwartz simply shrinks back or stares lovingly at Jax while he is treated like shit. Also he broke the cheating news to you in public – twice. The first was outside of Sur, the second at a bar with friends. This is the definition of passive behavior from a man who clearly can’t handle confrontation.

Second, a real man has ambition and a life plan. You have said multiple times on the show that you want Schwartz to grow up and be the husband and father that you dream of. I hate to break it to you, but the dude just doesn’t have it in him. By Schwartz’s own admission, he fled a pre-med program to move to LA to “act” or “model.” While I am all for pursuing one’s dreams, if the guy hasn’t made it by now, it’s probably never going to happen. Every year that passes just opens the door to someone younger, hotter, and more talented to land that coveted Hollywood role. So does he have a plan B? Negatory. 

Third, do I have to remind you of the time that he fled his bartending gig at Pump because he couldn’t work a cash register and felt pressured by the crowd of customers? If a cash register can give you a full on panic attack, what will the responsibilities of being a provider, husband, and father do? Can you honestly see your man caring for a newborn baby? Newborns eat every two to three hours and sometimes cry inconsolably. The pressures of having a new baby are enough to drive a sane individual over the edge. What will it do to Tom Schwartz?  


Katie Maloney you are still young, have your looks, and hopefully your eggs. Ditch the loser and start searching for Mr. Right. You know, the kind of guy who can lift a weight, open a pickle jar, defend your honor, and hold down a steady job. These men do exist and you could be with one and be happy. I hate to say it but take a page out of Stassi’s playbook and freeze the mofo out.

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